can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
