some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am one with the molecules
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
