I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
