I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
