Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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