Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
