Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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