My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize