Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
