Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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