oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
this is an emotional support booty call
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
