Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
