Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
