You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
