is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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