YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
