dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
