the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
