not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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