Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
