I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
