I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
