Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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