i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize