I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
