she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
