Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
