Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
