he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
