dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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