remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
a search helicopter?!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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