I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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