i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
please come you make the beer taste better
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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