I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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