i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i've created a new STD.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
