so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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