i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
