Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
