I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
