She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
