the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
