i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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