yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
