You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
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