Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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