Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize