Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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