I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
well I can't set my house on fire every night
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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