You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
