addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
