You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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