Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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