their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
