You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
