wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
