So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize