I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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