We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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