the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
