MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have fence marks all over my body
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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